An Open Letter to the Guy after the Guy after THE GUY. Thanks for the Memories.

You were the guy that came after the guy that came after the worst relationship of my young life. Even I admit that sounds like an awful place to be in. After I picked up the pieces of life post divorce, figured out which friends were really mine and which went the way of the ex, figure out how to live as a single parent and all the stuff that comes with it I did date one person…who just happened to be my ex-husbands best friend. This is me, I make bad relationship decisions. I admit that, but back to you.

When you entered my life a little over a month ago via a Facebook message I thought you seemed interesting. I had forayed into Tinder and Bumble and neither of those were working other than as a running joke between a work friend and I about who could find the worst match. We had things in common, both homeschooled, both in our 20s, both single. I really wasn’t sure there would be anything else since you are an operative of the republican party and I am a pretty much as feminist as one can get without a pussy hat tattoo. I’ll definitely wear the hat and my Nasty Woman tshirt (proceeds go to Planned Parenthood) as we march for the rights we shouldn’t have to march for again and I definitely didn’t plan on being brainwashed into hiding my views by love or money or cheap sentiment that comes with a new relationship. We met at a coffee shop, which I am told is a date, and had a very pleasant conversation where I discovered you weren’t an idiot and we had a few more things in common. You got my number and set up a dinner date for later which was weird for me. I hadn’t been on a date in over a year and before that it had been nearly five years. Dating is a foreign concept for me.

I was nervous and a little excited as you picked me up (I was 27 and getting picked up for a date which felt weird but whatever). I mean why wouldn’t I be excited? Someone thought I was cool enough to take out and spend three hours with. It was fun. You were funny. I wasn’t nervous like the other dates I’ve had in my life mostly because I think I set my expectations really low. It was pleasant, you brought me home and we said we would do it again. Over the last month we have done several fun things. I had you over for game night at my house. You invited me to a poker game and the solar eclipse. Its been fine and even fun but I think I realized from the get go it wasn’t going to be a long term thing and I was right. I could enumerate on the reason that you aren’t right for me and that I’m not right for you but instead I want to say thank you for giving me a new experience and a new perspective. One thing I have realized about dating now versus then is that when we decide to date we are investing time, which we cannot get back into another human so the least that person can do is to honor that time by being present and then being honest. And honestly this is the end.