Perhaps it is my age or the age of a lot of the ladies I know but everyone seems to be getting a divorce around me, which is fine. I am a firm believer in how healthy divorce can be for a person and relationships. But then I have to ask how do people conquer the next step? I had been comfortably being intimate, wearing sweatpants around, not wearing any make up, and generally just being a comfortable, casual version of myself with one person for years. How do people up and move on? I don’t remember how to do any of this. I tried dating and that bombed pretty hard.That was almost a two years ago.
A few months I had the bright idea to try Tinder which seems like the beginning of a sad dystopian young adult novel. May the odds be ever in your favor and for god’s sake have a clear, child free, gun free, semi decent picture since I’m supposed to judge our compatibility based on that and a three sentence bio. What I have so far learned is that this was easier when I was younger. I’m not old, but this certainly makes me feel that way. Tinder is at times interesting, almost always amusing but I live in fear of the day I happen upon one of my friends ex-husbands or even worse than that, my own.
Of course there are other online dating options, or I could happen upon a single, semi interesting, able to hold a conversation man in real life (….This did recently happen to me so unicorns do exist). After Tinder I tried Ok Cupid because it was recommended by a friend. It isn’t any better. The straw that finally broke my desire to seek out those methods in finding any sort of personal relationship pairing was the propensity for married people to use those sites and apps to cheat. In particular I found a friend of mines husband.
How are people in their 20’s supposed to meet other single, eligible, people to coexist, date, and partner with? Well a friend of mine has made a commitment to getting out more, by going to local events and such which does seem logical. Others I know rely on the buddy system. They meet people through other people they already know. I did recently have coffee with a nice young man that way so it does sometimes work. For the most part I think that perhaps the most important lesson we can learn from the online dating craze is that if we have to go through that much silliness to find someone perhaps we should find other ways to content ourselves. I’ll be over here completing the library’s summer reading program for adults.
Florence, Alabama is such an interesting place. I have loved it almost from the moment we moved here 13 years ago. I could write many a loving platitude to Florence. I love early quiet mornings. I love being one of the first people at Rivertown at 7am on a weekday. I love walking downtown at night. I love getting a drink at Wildwood Tavern even though it is always too crowded. I love that I can go almost anywhere and run into someone I know. I ran into someone I know today at Starbucks.
I’ve had an interesting summer. Summer is always a blur but this summer is probably the biggest blur to date. You see we finally took the plunge, finally bit the bullet, finally invested in a home here. Its an old home, with stately columns, a lot of history, and ugly carpet that will eventually have to come up. Its a good size for the small family that now resides in it. Eventually I will have to get it together enough to have a priest come and bless it. My favorite thing about it so far is my room. At one point I’m sure the room I call mine was a living room or a sitting room or something of that nature. The house is old and the room doesnt have an overhead light fixture. Its a big, wide open square which is almost the best part. After spending the better part of the last five year crammed into tiny spaces I love having an almost bare room. I’m sure given enough time I will fill all the space but for now I’m happy to have it be empty. The best part about this room is the windows. My room has the largest windows in the house. They look out on the street. At 5am, before the light starts to peak through, looking out those windows just makes me happy. I love everything about it. The cure to a dull life is surely an interesting window.
I grew up in a trailer. In hindsight I realize it was a tiny space. At the time it didn’t feel as small as it looked the last time I saw it before it was hauled off the be thrown away or recycled or whatever happens to such things. There were two, sometimes three bedrooms where my siblings and I would reside. Sometimes we would all share a space, and other times we would have our own rooms. The room that was most often mine had a square window that didn’t open up to the outside and was made of something that wasn’t quite glass, but wasn’t quite plastic. It overlooked a bunch of timber land like everything else where I grew up. I loved that window. I liked to watch rain fall outside of it. From then to now I’ve never had another window that made me as happy as the one I have now. We all go through life trying to find the one job, or person, or addiction that will make us happy. I’m pretty sure I was just looking for a window.