I’ve never been very good at starting a routine. However once I get into it I am really good at never changing that routine ever. To the point where I get stuck in it. I am much like a stubborn mule about some things and my routine (ok well pretty much everything actually) is one of those things. There are catastrophic life events, such as children, and aging, that tend to change that whether I like it or not. I will be 27 this year. That’s pretty weird. I will have a one year old this year. That is even weirder. Taking stock of my life so far I have a job, I have shelter, I will never get rich this way (and thats ok), I’m properly disillusioned about love and soul mates and all that crap, I’m not divorced…yet, I have adult friends, and mom friends, and I am a fairly happy person who has a sort of handle on her life sometimes.
Am I learning? Every single day I learn something new but I am actively trying to learn all I can about as much as I can as I try and teach a small human how to grow into a big one. So far this year I have actually taken steps to restore some of the balance in my life (go me). Am I growing? Extremely slowly. Am I changing? Not as rapidly as my almost 1 year old but yes I am changing. Its funny how life has seasons. About ten years ago I would go to bed early and get up extremely early and I was pretty much a boring old lady in a teens body. Now I do the exact same thing as an adult. I don’t own my own home yet and I don’t think I will ever have an empire to rule over.
What do I want to do with my life? Once upon a time I hated that question. Now I dislike it but I don’t find it as rage inducing. I like what I am doing right now. I believe it has purpose. I like spending time being the one actually raising my child. I think that is really important. Why have a kid if you plan on foisting him off on someone else his whole life? I want to eventually do a little better than living paycheck to paycheck. I want to make things and live comfortably and teach and learn and play and have a great life. No one will write about me in the history books and I probably wont win any awards but I hope to make a small difference in the lives of those I touch. That is what I want to do with my life. I want to leave this earth a tiny bit better off than I found it.
Bring it on 2016. I’ve got plans for you!!