The fast food generation

I am not going to jump on my soap box for what will hopefully only be a minute:

Maybe its just my generation, or maybe this is a common thread that moves through time in all generations of all people but I personally am sick of seeing people buy things, adopt animals, run through sexual partners and relationships, serially date, or stuff their face because they believe some small inconsequential and momentary thing or act or person or animal will fill all the gaps and be the the thing that “makes them happy”. How silly is that really? I mean I understand wanting the instant gratification of a good snuggle, or playing with a puppy, or having sex, or eating a tub of ice cream. It feels good. It makes us feel good for about 15 minutes. But what happens after that?

I have watched so many people that I really care about go from relationship to relationship and find no fulfillment. Worse than that is that those relationships tend to be abusive or unhealthy. When we are looking for that next thing to make us happy we sometimes lose sight of our own personal standards or forget that we have intrinsic self worth and don’t have to put up with crappy treatment.  If we can’t find joy in being alone we will never be able to find it with another person added into the mix.

I’m by no means perfect, but even if someone treats me like poo I know it has very little to do with me and more to do with the other person (generally speaking). What happened to treating others the way we want to be treated. Apparently most people skipped that episode of sesame street.

 

 

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Week 35: Or It is definitely not time yet so stay put!

This week I had my last ultrasound and my first cervical exam. How fun. The ultrasound showed an extremely squished baby weighing in at around 5lbs and the exam determined that I probably wouldn’t be carrying around a baby until May 7th which is my original due date. This was a little unsettling mostly because it messed with my plans. I’m a crazy planner. I like everything to be neatly organized and arranged and having this kid a couple weeks early is not my plan.

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I’m going to burst

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to just learn to adjust and I realize that some adjustment, some compromise must be made, but surely having a plan is better than going in blind. With that in mind I will share my birth plan, which is sort of short and sweet and down to the point. I really don’t have a whole lot of expectations. I want an epidural. I am aware it might not work. I would rather not have an episiotomy. I am aware it may be necessary.

Birth Plan
No visitors during active labor
Steven is to be the only family member in the delivery room
No Episiotomy unless absolutely necessary
IV meds if needed
Steven would like to cut the chord
Steven would like to bathe the baby
Baby stays in room rather than in the Nursery
If anyone calls the hospital I do want my information released
No visitors during recovery or until after I have attempted to breast feed
I want to attempt to breastfeed as soon as possible
I would not like to be offered a mirror
I’d like to be able to use a birthing ball, walking, etc as pain management then IV meds until I feel that the pain isn’t managable.

Its just a simple list. Not a list of demands or requirements, but a list that will hopefully help the nurses know what I would prefer to happen. Here is to hoping we see a couple more weeks without baby presenting himself to the world.

Parenting is an Odyssey

Some may laugh at this, and in some ways it is rather amusing but one reason I was a little relieved that I was supposedly unable to birth babies is that I would have to make certain hard decisions or have arguments about what is best for the little one, or constantly debate with spouse, grand parents, aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors, and even casual acquaintances about everything from cloth diapers, to regular diapers, to only organic disposable diapers or pacifier vs no pacifier, or vaccinate or don’t vaccinate, or perhaps the biggest one of all, to homeschool or not. How does one go about navigating these minefields of conversational bullshit and arguments waiting to happen. One thing that is true about being pregnant is that every one has an opinion about it and about what to do with the baby once its here. Most of the time I let it go in one ear and out the other. Yeah, I may cloth diaper, but I will also use regular diapers and disposable wipes. This baby will be offered a pacifier at least at first because I don’t want him to be 8 and still sucking his thumb and at least the pacifier I can take away. Yes, I am breastfeeding if at all possible. Yes, I am vaccinating because I actually understand how vaccines work and I am not afraid to tell anyone that asks all of those things. I’m not debating it. Yes, I am circumcising. Those things are my decision and that is it. I might listen to a myriad of opinions, and trust me I have. I have heard more opinions on all of these subjects than I could possibly keep up with.

The big one for me is something I haven’t made up my mind about. The “to homeschool or not” debate. I know for at least the first five years of Carl’s life I will be teaching and caring for him. No matter what sacrifices I have to make I am not sending him to daycare. There are several reasons for this:

1) Every disease known to man and a few I swear are only grown specifically in those facilities

2) I at least believe I have enough support that sending him to daycare won’t be necessary

3) Why spend the extra money when I won’t make enough of a difference working the hours I would have to in order stick him in daycare?

4) I can teach him at home everything they teach in day care except I can do it better, in a one on one environment, without 15 other children biting, hitting, and ignoring the teachers.

5) The behaviors that kids pick up in daycare are atrocious.

6) I have first hand knowledge of what goes on in daycare that parents are never told about and frankly don’t want to know about.

The first 5 years I have a plan. Its after that I am not yet prepared for. I am never going to be in a position to just be a stay at home mom. I’m not sure I am wired for that, but even if I was there would never be a scenario in which my husband would go for it. So what to do? I know there are people that work and homeschool. More and more these days in fact. I wouldn’t mind doing that, and I of all people know that a homeschool schedule does not have to be conventional. I suppose I will see how the next few years go and re-evaluate as I go. If I homeschool it will be a fight. It will be a fight I am not sure I am able to win. I rarely ever say that but in this case it is true. Hmm…What does the future hold?

 

Week 34: Or I am a turtle and I can’t get up!

When I was a kid one of my favorite movies was the Ninja Turtles. The third live action film has the turtles going back to feudal Japan and in the ensuing chaos they end up going down a storm drain where one of them happens to land one his back. He then says what I think on a rather constant basis these days. “Help, I’m a turtle and I can’t get up!”

Being 34 weeks pregnant has been much like what I imagine being a beached whale is like. Not everyone will appreciate that sentiment but not everyone is pregnant or me. I have never been particularly large. I have been a little pudgy, a little bigger than I might have liked, but never just plain huge. Right now I am carrying more weight than I ever in my life expected to carry around and it is making me miserable. My diet hasn’t changed, if anything I am eating less because there is just no room for excess. Despite that I am still steadily gaining weight…..and probably will for several weeks. Which is pretty freaking miserable. I feel like a whale…a beached one. Especially when I try and get comfortable because there is no comfortable position for someone this big and otherwise hefty. No amount of twisting or turning or maneuvering will truly make being this pregnant comfortable. Really if I manage to get comfortable it is just a fluke. Basic luck.

Perhaps next week will be the week I bounce back into feeling like a semi normal human. Here’s to hoping.

Product Review: Organic Belly Balm

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While I haven’t really bought into a whole lot of Maternity related products…in fact I typically avoid them like the plague, I have really enjoyed this Organic Belly Balm. I was given it as a gift for Christmas and if not for that I probably would never have bought anything no matter how much my growing belly itched. It is organic, as the label states, and honestly it is a bit pricey at $16.00~ a jar, but it has been highly effective. I have no stretch marks and right now I am almost 10 inches bigger around the waist then pre pregnancy. It has also gotten rid of all belly itch which was a really rather inconvenient problem I had before the balm. The other benefit is that the smell is really nice. It is a nice, neutral smell which I appreciate considering my new highly energized nose.

It comes from the Honest Company and you can buy it here or at the Maternity store, which is where my jar comes from. The jar is only about a quarter of the way depleted and I have used it every day since Christmas so I imagine it will last until almost before I have this baby. If you are looking for a belly cream or balm I highly recommend this.

Did you have any pregnancy products that really made a difference?

*I was in no way compensated for this review*